yoooola, I’m back! This past week I’ve traversed across the south of China, dipping a little north into uncharted territories before finishing up where I’m writing this, Kunming!

Kunming is in my favourite province of China (Yunnan) but I’m only here for the one night in a hostel by the train station before an early start to a new country tomorrow!

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Chi-town↗

Just typing about Chi-town made me kind of miss Chicago actually, really cool place but also really irrelevant to today’s issue.

Sooo I left you around Guangzhou, where I spent a couple of days, quite literally, soaking in the sights.

Guangzhou was on off torrential rain for the whole time I was there. Of course the only time it wasn’t raining for a decent amount of time was while I was inside looking at a supplier’s factory.

Anywhoooo, I spent the day after my supplier meeting (after the last issue was published) having my first true duvet day of my trip!

It wasn’t meant to be a duvet day. In fact, I had started out the day at some random Egyptian museum (i’m not too sure what it was doing in Guangzhou but oh well) that seemed to have a collab with artifacts from the Ming dynasty. It was going swimmingly until it quite literally went swimmingly.

I had got into this glass outbuilding to see the excavation remains from the dig site along with a few other people when suddenly the heavens well and truly opened and the rain was so thick we couldn’t see the main building anymore. This jet lasted for around 15 minutes of continuous, bidet-like, power.

During those 15 minutes I reflected on my day’s plans after seeing the rest of the forecast and decided to just chill in the hotel for the rest of the day after a quick lunch stop (which was downright disgusting, not sure what I ordered but there were like 5 different animals mushed up in some soup).

Not too much else to say about my lil duvet day. I ordered some food to my door to try it out and wasn’t expecting the driver to actually come to my room door as I was thinking I would have time to sort out some plumbing from that day’s lunch. Was a bit of a surprise.

The next day was an infamous day. 3rd Aug AKA best day ever AKA my birthday.

Unfortunately, not even my birthday wishes could make the rain subside so I had to make do with a little drizzle (would have preferred lemon drizzle tbh).

I used the day to check out some parks around Guangzhou, checking out the ‘5 Rams’ statue and other thingies scattered along paths in the outskirts of town.

I had planned to do something special for my birthday, it was initially going to be bungee jumping but then I thought… nah

Then it was going to be an acupuncture & massage combo but I kinda stopped as soon as I saw the prices.

My final option was to climb up to the top of Mt. Baiyun. It’s most certainly not a mountain at only 300 something metres but it does supposedly give the best view of Guangzhou and the surrounding area ‘on a clear day’.

My birthday was anything but clear and so all of the mountain paths and cable-cars had been closed off.

In all honesty the day could have gone better but we move. I ended up going to the base of the mountain (saw a cool temple on the way) and doing laps of the park before taking a long stroll in the rain back towards the centre of Guangzhou where I had some good ol beef noodles for dinner. Defo was a character building birthday that one.

The 4th was, interestingly, a new day! The rain was hammering down but I had a sneaky trick up my sleeve.

The train!

I hopped on the high-speed and zoomed out of Guangzhou. North, towards Changsha.

Changsha, oh my lord.

So busy.

I don’t think I’ve ever missed crossing at intersections before because of the queues of people waiting to cross. It was ridiculous.

I slightly got a taste of it wayyyyy back in Xi’an when there was a public holiday.

The school holidays are another beast here.

The number of people out and about seemed 10x what it was last time I was in China. Having to let multiple metros pass until there was space became a normality, waiting 20 mins for a coffee in a cafe became a normality, it was craaaazy.

The worst was my hotel. Located on the 12th floor of a building just off Wuyi Square (the main area). I quickly realised it was similar to my Hong Kong situation in that it wasn’t really a hotel, just someone’s apartment where they let out a couple of their rooms. This wouldn’t have been a problem but the place was not built for anywhere near this many people needing the lifts.

There were two lifts to serve a 30 floor building with guests, locals and food delivery people constantly using them.

There seems to be no concept whatsoever of queueing in China, as soon as the lift dinged open, people would genuinely rush and sprint into the lift that still had people trying to get out of it. It felt like I was in a moshpit but there was no good music. I can slightly understand not queueing (not really actually) but I cannot, for the life of me, understand what the point in pushing onto something that people are clearly trying to come off is.

I see this all the time in the metros, lifts and just entrances in general. People seem to actually enjoy full on pushing into spaces. Of course, when you are a tourist and armed with an immense backpack, getting into the lifts and things is just not a possibility.

That first time I waited for the lift up to the hotel must have been close to 30 minutes. The lifts would then stop on every floor as people tried to squeeze themselves in before letting those who had requested the stop off, delaying the whole process.

My spirits were not ‘lifted’ when I checked into the ‘hotel’ either.

So this guy had done an absolute blinder in deceiving what the place looked like from the online photos.

He had literally put up four walls right in the middle of the main corridor and the window-view room was literally a room with a view of a window in the corridor. A little annoying because I would have happily paid a little more for an actual hotel had I known it was going to be like that.

I hopped in the shower quickly (which actually was somewhat separated from my room this time) as the humidity in Changsha was ridiculous and then got out of the hotel as quickly as the lifts would permit.

Changsha is apparently a very studenty city and is actually where Mao studied. There is a massive bust of him on an island in the river between the main city and the university district.

I spent the rest of that day walking down towards his statue and exploring the night markets.

Upon return to the hotel, to my horror, the ‘queue’ for the lifts had reached the main street. I was going to be there for an eternity. I decided to get an ice cream and hoped to would die down later (it’s around 23:30 at this point).

If anything it had grown even larger, and so, the stairs were to be faced. It started off suuuper swell (well as swell as stairs can be) but then after only two floors nobody had decided to install any lights. As there were no windows either, the place was pitch black and occasionally parts of stairs would be missing. Not only that, some of the emergency doors to the floors were barricaded and could not be opened.

Something finally went my way and the 12th floor door was open, allowing me to get back to my corridor for some much needed rest.

“ARGHHHHHHHHHH” “BABAAAAAAAAA”

Someone’s child was on walkabouts that night and when they finally reunited with their Baba (Dad) there was a whole load of commotion and the Dad was talking to someone (very loudly) until at least 3am. It would have been awful if I had not been prepared for this ;).

Activate my sleep survival kit:

• Proper eyemask for side sleeping

• Wax earplugs

• Vix vaporub

Ok the vix isn’t really part of the kit but I felt like rubbing some on my neck (recommend it actually helps me sleep now).

Just like that, I had pitch black and pretty much silence.

I ended up sleeping in reasonably late but oh well.

The next day I went to the university district. The place was suuuuper cool, really old-style buildings and was apparently one of four ancient academies (not really sure what that means). However it was where Mao studied and you could see little engravings and inscriptions he had whittled into rocks around the grounds which was quite cool.

Well jeez.

The rain finally caught up with me and unleashed a storm just as I was about to begin a trek up some hill. I hunkered down in a cafe with a bunch of other people and the water eventually made it into said cafe, flooding the whole ground floor.

I was waiting in that cafe for about an hour and finally saw a window in the rain and seized it. I paced it up the track which eventually led to some tree cover but the rain returned violently for round two and so I retreated to the toilets where I spent another 30 minutes hanging out with some other people lol

I soon realised that I was going to get wet regardless if I pushed on or went back and so I headed up the hill.

Despite it being the summer holidays, I was the only person on that hill track for a good hour. It was really peaceful, although very wet.

Upon making it to the top I wolfed down some noodles and got myself a coffee in a cosy cafe to try and dry off.

I had seen that there was a cable-car back down into town which looked like a very nice end to my excursion but obviously that was shut…

I was left with the same hour walk back down the hill which was basically a waterslide at this point or to wait for a supposed shuttle bus to arrive.

And arrive it did!

I don’t know if there was no engine or something but the driver coasted the whole way down the hill so it actually took close to the same amount of time it took to walk up.

What a day that was.

I utilised my favourite Chinese utility (robo-massagers) and went back to the hotel.

The next day it was an early start to a place a little off the beaten track (pretty much everywhere in China is beaten tho). It was a little ‘Miao’ (an ‘ethnic minority’) stilted village in the rice paddies.

Getting there was a paaaaaaain.

A 3 hour train from Changsha, a 1 hour bus to the fields and then a 30 minute shuttle into the village before a 30 minute walk up the hill to my hotel.

However, it was worth it. The place was stunning. Genuinely one of those places with a magical feeling.

Although most of these ‘ancient villages’ have been heavily commercialised, they still have a very nice aesthetic and charm.

I was fed up with transport and general logistics that day and so walked around a little before retreating for some pork rice and a really cool live music bar.

This guy went absolutely ham.

I think I was the only white guy in like a 3 hour vicinity, the number of stares and double takes I was getting was crazy. At one point I literally couldn’t walk because everyone had stopped and were just staring at me.

The next day I propped myself up in a super nice hilltop cafe and did some wholesome journaling for about 5 minutes before some child just full on ran into my chair and then faceplanted into the ground.

He then, along with his siblings, kept on running towards where I was before scarpering away each time I looked.

I know what games you are playing, I thought.

“wey nihao”

They stopped in their tracks, the tourist speaks!

They were actually super nice, although pretty intrusive, and wanted to read through my journal which I let them but it got kinda awkward when I realised they knew English perfectly well and were reading about my toilet troubles on a previous entry.

Oh wellllll.

The one that ran into me retired and his younger brother and sister (10 and 7 years old) stayed and tried to tell me how their tennis coach was teaching them ping-pong. As fascinated as I was by this, I changed the subject and got them to sign their names in my journal which will be a nice little souvenir. The girl then interrogated me as to why I don’t have a baby, she was even more shocked when she found out I don’t have a wife, let alone a girlfriend.

The boy then phoned me through his watch, which was actually really cool. The majority of children seem to have a g-shock like watch that flips open and they rant into at their friends and parents, I got a whole product walkthrough from him, v cool!

Anyways, shoutout to Ethan and Joanna, not the don who ran into me, I don’t know what his name was.

The rest of that day I explored the markets and the rice-paddies before returning to the hotel for an intense bag sorting out and packing session (long overdue).

Aaaaaand that leaves us at today!

This morning I did the whole chain of buses and walking back to the station and got on the train to KunmingNan, where I am now!

As I said before, tomorrow is an early start for a new country and so I booked myself into a ‘space’ hostel near the station.

I hope you are all well! I will be meeting up with one of you lucky subscribers next week! Stay tuned to find out who :D

Thought↗

I have decided I have a me problem. My brain just yapapapapapapapas when it doesn’t need to and does nothing when it needs to yapapapapapapapa…

Books↗

• Homer - The Odyssey (like 5% through kinda long icl)

• Albert Camus - The Myth of Sisyphus (just finished, very interesting, makes me want to travel to Algeria)

• James Gleick - Chaos (approaching halfway through!)

Album of the week↗

Imogen Heap - Speak for Yourself (2005)↗

I don’t think there are many more artists as underrated and impactful as Imogen Heap. Once you hear her sounds, you realise she is woven into the majority of genres (especially hip-hop) with her distinctive melodies bridging the gaps between musical areas. This album is a cornerstone in modern music and, imo, should be required listening for anyone interested in delving deeper into the production and behind-the-scenes in contemporary music.

You quickly realise that her sound is behind some major rappers like A$AP Rocky and the infamous Lil B. This album is truly iconic but not well enough known. Reaaaaallly recommend listening to it. The album itself is not hip-hop so if you are not a rap fiend it is still very much listenable.

Notable tracks for me:

• ‘Have You Got It In You?’

• ‘Hide and Seek’

• ‘The Moment I Said It’

Lemme know what you think of it!!

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@nutbrowngram

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